This is my room. The rules are:
1. Read everything before doing anything.
2. Declare what your intentions are before entering my room.
3. I require a detailed 5-page report on any claim you wish to make that I am a pervert, skitzo, freak, asshole, idiot, jerk, bitch, or child molester before I will allow you to post such things about me in this room.
4. Alcohol is legal in this room if you are over 21 which is probably pretty much just me so go f*** yourselves little children because drinking underage is only excited until the point when you get arrested in 2 states for alcohol-related offenses in the same night. Not me, but a few good friends of mine. True story. We were in Cincinnati, Ohio USA and they went to Kentucky to buy alcohol and got caught by an undercover cop in the store who gave them a court date. We were all living in a dorm and they came back and drank away their sorries and a noise complaint was made and a cop ended up walking into the room while they all had alcohol in hand. It was an impressive night.
5. Smoking in this room is prohibited and I shall flame you to the damnations of hell if I smell any smoke (that includes doobies) in here.
6. Jokes in this room can only be directed toward people of your own religion, ethnicity, skin color, sexual orientation, sex, age, and disillusionment with reality.
7. You must know the meaning of disillusionment in order to enter this room.
8. Do not steal from this room. I cut off fingers as a first warning - same punishment as the students I teach.
9. You must be able to get along with the fact that I am a 23-year-old graduate student in chemistry and that I will not tolerate anti-science jokes unless you desire a good leeching.
10. ADHD posts are permitted in this room, but not ADD posts. If you're going to make a random post, make sure it is random enough to be considered ADHD or you will be punished.
11. Bums are not permitted in this room.
12. All posts in this room must contain some form of smiley.
13. Thinking out loud in this room is permitted only if it is truly humorous enough of a thought to illicit an irl lol.
14. Posts in this room must be full sentences. No run-ons or fragments. You need a subject and a predicate.
15. 1337-speak is prohibited in this room.
If you break any rules in this list, the punishment is:
1. First Warning - I cut off a finger.
2. Second Warning - I cut off your middle finger so that you can't flip me off anymore.
3. Third Warning - I fart directly into your mouth with no pants on.
4. I kick you in the balls. If you don't have balls, I give you 2 black eyes.
5. I ban you from the room.
If you have questions about these rules, please feel free to ask them in a moderator's room. That way I don't have to deal with it.
Welcome everyone to my room.
If you saw the phrase in the beginning of read everything before doing anything and decided to go check the very bottom of the post here, well too bad for you I'm not negating anything from that list! Now go back and read it all!!!
nekofjung's RoomFri Feb 27, 2009 1:00 am
