Normal members ignore this. This is for somebody very specific, and this is the easiest way to share it.
So let me start here, don't worry it won't be too long, consider this as an introduction to an essay. Two nights ago on saturday, I had a talk with my mother about our spirituality and my problems and what I believe. I had been feeling a lot of guilt about my life, and that's usually how things go when I get very little sleep. My super christian mother is going to faint when I tell her about this.
She was watching this sermon from the full gospel church, she doesn't like to go to church, and I never like to go with her.
The reason for this is Simple I don't like people looking at me thinking I'm some glutton, but in reality it's my fetish... sort of.
It's more calorie wise, but whatever. Now where was I? Oh yes. Something or other about church. Okay the point is, I was a big gay wanna be whore--big as in fat--. And since the age of 13, I was finally open to going to church, and so was my mother, which is weird because she's in a different christian church, and you know christians. We're very stuck in our ways, at least certain churches are. But I was lucky I think, or maybe destined, because
I was born into the full gospel, which isn't the church I'm going to mention. But you'll recognize us from every tyler perry movie ever.
So me and my mother were talking, and I had the idea to go church this easter, since it is after all, special. As long as I can remember I've had sleeping issues, and I've always had problems. And I thought that had something to do with me being christian, like God's trying to punish me, because I was gay, or different. I eventually just blamed it on having a messed up family.
So bing bang boom, we're at church, and I've got a lot of problems and I'm stressed during the entire thing. Then I get home, went to sleep for 7 hours, was happy that I atleast got 7 hours. Because you know... insomnia. Plus, I woke up late for work. 20 minutes, not that bad.
I get to work, and Crawl, one of our customers, had an accident. You see, he's in a wheelchair and it's electronic, so it's quite heavy. He himself is 250 lbs, and the weight limit on his lift was exceeded and it killed his battery. I do a lot of things for crawl, but not anything major, but this was major. So I said to myself wwjd--What would Jin Do--. Side note: he's my Boss, he's not Jesus, he's just nice to Crawl because he's in a wheelchair, plus Crawl never complains, he just asks for help when he needs it.
So, I spend half an hour helping this guy, humbly doing so, because I don't want him to feel more embarrassed than he is.
I closed the store for about a half hour maybe more, helped him with his groceries and said a quick goodbye. He invited me to his birthday party on Friday, which was actually Tuesday.
Anyways, once that's done and overwith. I got back to work, and meet my two neighbours--I live close to where I work--. There was just something uplifting about helping Crawl. Like, really helping him, because he was stuck and would have had to call the fire department and be. Yeah, the weight limit on my lift is exceeded, i'm not only in a wheelchair, i'm too fat for my god damn lift.
Then once I get home from work, I meet up with a few friends, and they brought somebody knew, and I did my best to make him feel welcome, which is hard, because I have social anxiety. And they leave at midnight. Then boom, I'm in bed and I wake up 30 minutes before work.
So let me start here, don't worry it won't be too long, consider this as an introduction to an essay. Two nights ago on saturday, I had a talk with my mother about our spirituality and my problems and what I believe. I had been feeling a lot of guilt about my life, and that's usually how things go when I get very little sleep. My super christian mother is going to faint when I tell her about this.
She was watching this sermon from the full gospel church, she doesn't like to go to church, and I never like to go with her.
The reason for this is Simple I don't like people looking at me thinking I'm some glutton, but in reality it's my fetish... sort of.
It's more calorie wise, but whatever. Now where was I? Oh yes. Something or other about church. Okay the point is, I was a big gay wanna be whore--big as in fat--. And since the age of 13, I was finally open to going to church, and so was my mother, which is weird because she's in a different christian church, and you know christians. We're very stuck in our ways, at least certain churches are. But I was lucky I think, or maybe destined, because
I was born into the full gospel, which isn't the church I'm going to mention. But you'll recognize us from every tyler perry movie ever.
So me and my mother were talking, and I had the idea to go church this easter, since it is after all, special. As long as I can remember I've had sleeping issues, and I've always had problems. And I thought that had something to do with me being christian, like God's trying to punish me, because I was gay, or different. I eventually just blamed it on having a messed up family.
So bing bang boom, we're at church, and I've got a lot of problems and I'm stressed during the entire thing. Then I get home, went to sleep for 7 hours, was happy that I atleast got 7 hours. Because you know... insomnia. Plus, I woke up late for work. 20 minutes, not that bad.
I get to work, and Crawl, one of our customers, had an accident. You see, he's in a wheelchair and it's electronic, so it's quite heavy. He himself is 250 lbs, and the weight limit on his lift was exceeded and it killed his battery. I do a lot of things for crawl, but not anything major, but this was major. So I said to myself wwjd--What would Jin Do--. Side note: he's my Boss, he's not Jesus, he's just nice to Crawl because he's in a wheelchair, plus Crawl never complains, he just asks for help when he needs it.
So, I spend half an hour helping this guy, humbly doing so, because I don't want him to feel more embarrassed than he is.
I closed the store for about a half hour maybe more, helped him with his groceries and said a quick goodbye. He invited me to his birthday party on Friday, which was actually Tuesday.
Anyways, once that's done and overwith. I got back to work, and meet my two neighbours--I live close to where I work--. There was just something uplifting about helping Crawl. Like, really helping him, because he was stuck and would have had to call the fire department and be. Yeah, the weight limit on my lift is exceeded, i'm not only in a wheelchair, i'm too fat for my god damn lift.
Then once I get home from work, I meet up with a few friends, and they brought somebody knew, and I did my best to make him feel welcome, which is hard, because I have social anxiety. And they leave at midnight. Then boom, I'm in bed and I wake up 30 minutes before work.