The Beginning of the N: Chapter 2

New important characters this chapter:




It was a rainy night when N, Anthea, and Concordia set off on their journey in the outside world. Dark clouds filled the sky, and occasionally, they could hear thunder. They were in a town that didn't seem to have anything of importance in it. All that was there was trees and houses.

“Right now, we're in Nuvema town. If we keep going straight from here, we'll be in Accumula Town. There's a Pokemon center there. We should go there and take shelter in the Pokemon Center until the rain stops.” said Concordia, as she studied the map carefully while holding an umbrella over her head, and Raltz sat on her head.

“Isn't there anything in this town? All I can see is houses and trees.” said N, looking around the town, holding an umbrella over his head, and Zorua riding on his shoulder.

“Uhm, well, it says here that there's a Pokemon Laboratory here, but we have no use in that.” she said, shaking her head.

“A Pokemon Laboratory...” N said with interest. “It must be that big building right there, it's the only building here that looks any different from the rest.” N said pointing to a sky blue building with a red roof and a logo of a Pokeball right under the roof. “I'm going to check it out, you too go on to Accumula Town, I'll catch up with you later.”

“What? N you haven't got any reason to go there, and we're certainly not leaving you here in the rain, on your own.” said Anthea, holding Gothita in her arms and an umbrella over her head.

“Then don't stray.” said N, as he took off towards the laboratory, not giving his sisters a chance to argue over it.

“N, wait up!!!” the both shouted, as they took off after him.

N climbed up a big tree, which was close to the window of the laboratory. He sat crouched down on a big branch, looking into the window. Anthea and Concordia shortly climbed up after him and crouched down next to him.

“N, what are we doing up here?” asked Anthea

“Keep quiet, or we'll get caught.” N silenced her with a wave of his hand, as they looked through the window, which wasn't easy in the rain.

Inside the laboratory, he could see a lady with light brown hair, wearing a big lab coat and a green skirt, talking on a phone. She must be been a Pokemon Professor.  They could also see a man with brown hair and a beard, wearing a yellow shirt and brown jeans. He was sitting at a desk doing something on a computer, and on that desk, they noticed that there were three Pokeballs.

“I wish we could closer, I can't hear anything.” N said, not very happy.

“I have an idea, N!” said Zorua. “I can get in there unnoticed, and then tell you everything I hear! I won't get caught, I have my illusion ability!”

N looked at Zorua, considering if this was a good idea or not. Then he made up his mind. “That's a brilliant idea, Zorua. Just be careful, and don't stay in there any longer than necessary.” said N.
Zorua nodded, licked N's face, then climbed down from the tree, and went to the window of the laboratory. The window wasn't heavy, so Zorua had no trouble lifting it up enough to crawl inside unnoticed. Once inside, Zorua crawled under the desk, remaining unnoticed, and listened to the Professor lady talk.

“Oh yes, the three starter Pokemon were delivered last night. They should be arriving soon. We also have a set of three more ready to be delivered!” Zorua heard the lady say.

“Oh holy Arceus, this is terrible! I can't sit through another word of this!” said Zorua as he got up from under the desk, and left the lab through the window he came through, then climbed back up the tree where N, Anthea, and Concordia where.

“Zorua, what did you hear?” N asked, surprised at how fast Zorua came back.

“She said something about having delivered three Pokemon! And the three Pokemon on the desk, they are going to be delivered too! We have to do something, N!” pleaded Zorua, jumping back on N's shoulder. Anthea and Concordia's eyes widened in shock. They couldn't believe what they just heard, but N didn't seem surprised. He balled his hand into a fist and slammed it against the bark of the tree in rage.

“That's all I need to hear.” said N, as he jumped off the tree, landing gracefully on his feet, and then approached the door to the laboratory.

“N, wait up!” said Anthea and Concordia, as they climbed down the tree.

Without any hesitation, N kicked open the door, making no attempted to be sneaky. The man and lady both stared at him in shock.

“Who are you? What the hell do you think you are doing? Don't you know how to knock?!” Shouted the man.

N completely ignored him and walked over to his desk, and picked up the three Pokeballs.

“Hey! Get your hands off those you thieve!” screamed the man as he jumped out of his chair and grabbed N's arm, trying to stop him.

N threw him off of him with ease, leaving him lying on the floor, possibly hurt, as he left the laboratory . As soon as he was back outside, he opened up all threw Pokeballs, releasing the three Pokemon that were inside. All three looked up at him, confused.

One of the Pokemon had the body of a small, green snake, with a leaf for a tail, and big, brown eyes. It was a Snivy. One looked like a baby otter with a light blue body, white arms, a white face, and a sea shell on its chest. It was an Oshawott. The third looked like a pig, with orange skin, big, oval eyes, and a pink nose. It was a Tepig. N smiled at the three Pokemon, then stomped on the Pokeballs they came out of, and he was stomping on them hard. The look on his face changed from a smile at the Pokemon to a very frustrated look. It looked as if he was taking out years of rage on the Pokeballs. Tepig ran away, fast, probably frightened by N. Oshawott also ran, but went back to the laboratory, and Snivy stayed there.

“N, calm down!” screamed Anthea and Concordia, as they ran over to N, grabbing him by his arms, and dragging him away. As they did so, N looked back at the Pokeballs he destroyed. They were in pieces, and there was no way they could be repaired in that state. Looking at them, however, caused N to break out of his sisters grasp, run back over to the destroyed Pokeballs, and continue destroying them even more. There was a fiery rage clear in his eyes.

“Oh my god, N stop it!!!” shouted Anthea and Concordia as they grabbed him by his arms again, and once again dragged him away. At first he tried to break out of their grasp again, but eventually calmed down and gave up. They dragged him all the way to Accumula town, afraid he'd take off again. Then they finally let go of  him. He stood there speechless.

“N...what in the name of Arceus was that all about? You really scared us...” asked Anthea, placing her hands on her knees, breathing heavily she was exhausted. N stared at the ground, and remained silent.

“Let's just get out of the rain, we can discuss this tomorrow.” said Concordia, as she led them into the Pokemon Center. Once they got inside, they rented a room in the Pokemon Center to stay in over night. When they got to their room, N immediately plopped down on the bed and fell asleep, despite the fact that his clothes were soaked wet from the rain.

The next day, N woke up to the unmistakable feeling of Zorua licking his face.  He couldn't help but laugh. “Good morning, Zorua.” said N, stroking Zoruas fur. He suddenly felt something climb up onto his shoulder, and it wasn't Zorua. It was Snivy. The Snivy from last night must have been following them the whole time.

“Oh, hello! Did you follow us here? I guess you didn't have anywhere else to go, did you? Did you meet Zorua, Raltz, and Gothita already?” asked N, running his fingers down Snivys back. “You're welcome to stay with us as long as you want.” Snivy nodded, but didn't say anything. N then noticed that Anthea and Concordia where nowhere in site.

“Oh, where did Anthea and Concordia go, Zorua?” he asked.

“They went down to the main floor of the Pokemon Center. Let's go catch up with them!” replied Zorua.

N changed out of the wet clothes he slept in, putting on new ones that looked the exact same, then he went down  to the main room of the Pokemon Center, with Zorua on his shoulder and Snivy sitting on his hat. He quickly spotted his sisters. They were buying items from the Poke Mart section of the Pokemon Center.

“Oh, good morning N! Are you feeling alright?” said Anthea, as she embraced her brother in a tight hug. N nodded.

“N, where did that Pokemon come from?” said Concordia, pointing to the Snivy on N's head.

“It's the Snivy from last night. It had nowhere else to go, so it decided to follow us.”

“I see.” she said. “Anyway, the rain has stopped, so we should start heading off to Striaton City now. That's the first city with a gym in it, so we'll need to be prepared for battle.”

Suddenly, all three of their xtranceivers rang at the same time. Ghetsis was calling them.

“Yes father?” they all asked at once, as soon as they answered their xtranceivers.

“I have arrived in Accumula City. I assume you three are here already. I am about to give a speech, come quickly. And remember to try to blend in with the crowd, don't expose yourselves as Team Plasma yet.” Ghetsis said as he hung up, not waiting for a response.

The three walked outside the Pokemon Center, and noticed that a huge crowd of people had gathered together, about to listen to Ghetsis's speech. They joined the crowd, looking like random townsfolk interested in the speech.

Ghetsis stood, with six Team Plasma Grunts behind him, and two giant flags of the Team Plasma logo stuck standing tall, blowing in the wind. N recognized three of the grunts: Angie, Brad, and Mei. The other three, he did not recognize, as they hadn't introduced themselves to him. Ghetsis slowly paced from side to side, then began his speech.

“Greetings, citizens! My name is Ghetsis, and I am here representing Team Plasma.”

“Huh? Team Plasma?
Who's ever heard of Team Plasma?” said several voices from the crowd.

Ghetsis paced slowly from one side to the other again, then resumed his speech.“Today, ladies and gentlemen, I have come here to talk to you about something very important. Pokemon liberation, to be exact.”

“Huh? Pokemon liberation?
What is this man talking about?
Is he crazy?” said several more people from the crowd.

“Yes.” he continued. “Let's free our Pokemon. We humans live together with Pokemon. We think that we co-exist with each other as partners. But what if I told you that that is not reality? What if I told you that only we humans feel this way, and that the Pokemon disagree? Trainers command their Pokemon to do as they want. Pokemon are strange creatures with unknown potential. They should not exist solely to serve our selfish wishes. Don't you think we should do something for these Pokemon? That's right! We should release our Pokemon! Free your Pokemon! Only then, can Pokemon live to their fullest potential! Liberation has been the answer all along! Ladies and gentlemen, please think about my words today, and spread the word to everyone you know.”

With that, his speech was over, and the grunts picked up the flags,  then circled around Ghetsis, as if for some type of protection, then they walked away.

“Release our Pokemon?! What the hell was that man talking about?
He's insane! Let's just forget that even happened!
Without Pokemon, we'll be sad and lonely!” said people from the crowd, as they all departed.

“White, I love you!”

N spun around and stared in shock. He saw a girl with long, brown hair, wearing a white and pink, a white t-shirt, black jacket, and short blue shorts. She was holding a Tepig, which was the Pokemon that N heard.

N never thought he would a Pokemon say such a thing. He stood there and stared, his mouth wide open , and his heart beating fast. He slowly walked over to the Tepig and it's trainer. Anthea and Concordia where busy studying the town map. They got into an argument over how they should approach winning their first badges, they didn't even notice what N was doing.

“You're Pokemon, just now it was saying....” he started, but was interrupted by a boy with black hair, glasses, wearing a white shirt with red stripes, a blue jacket, and black jeans.

“Slow down, you talk way too fast. And what's this about Pokemon talking?” He asked, crooking his eyebrow.

“Oh...so you can't hear them either then.” N said, looking from the girl to the boy. “I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is N, and, unlike you two, I can hear the voices of Pokemon.”

“My name is Cheren.” said the boy, extending his hand to N, which N completely ignored.

“And I'm White.” said the girl. “Can you really understand the voices of Pokemon?” She asked, curiously.

“Yes, I can, and I want to hear the voice of your Pokemon more. I want to hear what your Pokemon says in battle: what exactly does your Pokemon feel about battles?” he asked, talking very fast, again.

“I couldn't make out half of what you just said, but I assume you're challenging me to a battle?” she asked, setting Tepig on the ground, who braced itself for battle.

“If you desire to call it a challenge, yes.” said N, as Zorua hopped off his shoulder, faced Tepig, and got in battle stance.

To be continued....

Last edited by Tomoko Kuroki on Sun Nov 10, 2013 1:59 am; edited 1 time in total

I really like Pokemon, and I even more like this! Please PM me whenever you make a new chapter!

Thanks =), I'll be sure to do that

Cool, we want moar!

you will get more tommorow or Sunday :D

Okay, time to do a little bit of a more in depth critiquing. If you like this, then I'll do it for each passage you write. If not, I'll keep to a more basic form.

pure_wiN wrote:

It was a rainy night when N, Anthea, and Concordia set off on their journey in the outside world. Dark clouds filled the sky, and occasionally, they could hear thunder. They were in a town that didn't seem to have anything of importance in it. All that was there was trees and houses.

Okay, this first part. Breaking it down, you don't have enough... interesting details. This part is quite bland because you have a few basic descriptor words that make up a short story that a 5th grader would write. I'm going to change this up a bit and see how it works. For now, I'll just do the first sentence

pure_wiN wrote:

It was a rainy night when N, Anthea, and Concordia set off on their journey in the outside world.

Naito Raizu wrote:

Dark clouds hung over the heads of N and his sisters the night they set out on their journey. Torrential rain crashed down from the sky this night, hiding the stars and drenching the trio as they took their first steps into a new, outside world.

The way I've made this passage is that I've given feel to the first sentence by expanding it. By making it longer and adding a few stronger descriptor words, I'm sure most can imagine the experience N and his sisters are having. This isn't a glorious night for them. This is new, and frankly quite scary. They no longer have the guiding light of Ghetis with them, shown by the lack of stars in the sky, which are often alluded to as being guides during the night. Whenever an experience like this occurs, you don't typically have a light sprinkle. In most stories, the rain is coming down hard, kicking up mud and dirt as it hits the floor. Having a sentence that says it was just a "Rainy night" isn't good enough. It could be anywhere from a light sprinkling to a massive downpour. As such, I've given feel to the rainy night. I've made it harsher, stronger rain that soaks the skin and leaves people shivering. This helps by really feeding the imagination the picture you are trying to create. Instead of leaving the readers to infer that it's a dark and stormy night, you have just made your story a canvas for a painting, and your words have made a picture. Lastly, I've taken out the list of names and made it to be just "N and his sisters". There are a few reasons I did this.

1. A long list of names becomes kind of a run on at the beginning of the story. You want to get to the adventure, and listing out the name of every single person who starts walking will lose you people.

2. While N's sisters are important, in a mass, not a lot of people will care what their names are. This story seems to be focused around N. With N as a main character, right now, his sister's names are not important, despite the actual character's importance to the story. Later on, it will be appropriate to throw their names in, but for now, I advise keeping the usage of their names to a minimum when possible, as not a lot of people will care right at the very beginning.

Hope this makes sense. Give me feedback. Was this small bit helpful?

I liked it. again not a negative comment. go into the thoughts of random people to kind of get into the sociological pull. ( how they are affecting the mass population) and go into the thoughts of all the characters period. it helps us get completely involved and feel the emotions of the characters. envelope us into this story. I hope you do more

I feel the same as fool minus a few points,always a long time supporter I hope this series prospers good luck

those pokeballs are too expensive to be breaking d;